In the early 1970s rock performer Alice Cooper sang a refrain that would remain a generational echo: School's out for the summer / School's out forever.
Among many young people in Oswego, Aurora, Plainfield and Naperville (IL), the last day of school may sound a siren of liberty, one that ushers the freedom to do what they choose, be it sleep in, hang out with friends or splash in the pool and the sun.
Of course, contrary to Cooper's teen anthem, what might seem timeless in the moment doesn't last forever. For all who attend K–12, the return to the classroom arrives.
The new year might be exciting for some students. For others, it can induce mounting anxiety. Consider the following statistics:
20% to 30% of students experience noticeable back-to-school anxiety at the start of the year. Among elementary-aged children, this can climb as high as 40%.
Among teens and adolescents, back-to-school anxiety estimates can range between 10% and 25%, a figure that may be higher for those with prior mental-health concerns.
Approximately 7% to 10% of school-aged children have an anxiety disorder; the start of the school year often aggravates symptoms.
In one study published in School Psychology Quarterly, about 13% of children reported school-related anxiety at a level considered "clinically significant."
At Empowered Life Therapy, we understand how imposing going back to school might feel for some. We work closely with many different young people in developing the perspective and skills for navigating the back-to-school jitters.
Having proactive parents and the strengthening of emotion concepts can help carry a student past anxiety to a more peaceful and balanced school year.
Back-to-school stress can affect students of any age in Oswego, Aurora, Plainfield and Naperville, and the sources can include social, psychological and environmental factors.
School Anxiety: Social
Peer pressure or fear of rejection
Concerns about making friends, fitting in or being bullied
Triggers caused by past bullying, teasing or embarrassing incidents
Fear of being judged by peers or not measuring up to them
School Anxiety: Psychological
Fear of the unknown, such as new teachers, classmates or school environments
Perfectionism or fear of failure, such as in academic or athletic performance
Among younger children, separation anxiety from being away from parents or home
Low self-esteem because of feeling incapable, unattractive, left out or not good enough
School Anxiety: Environment
Shifting to a new school or grade, such as bridging from grade school to middle school or middle school to high school
Adjusting from the freedom of summer break to structured schedules and homework loads
Increase in homework, more-challenging subjects or tests
Some anxiety is normal and can even be helpful in indicating that a student is attuned to surroundings and circumstances. However, if the anxiety is severe or persistent, it can become a disorder that interferes with daily functioning.
Whether students tell their parents about their anxiety or other troubles often depends on factors such as age, family dynamics, cultural background and the student's personality.
Anxious elementary children may be more likely than older students to show their concerns, but they might also lack the proper expressive vocabulary. This can shape their undeclared feelings into behaviors such as irritability, clinginess or outbursts.
Many middle- and high-school students may avoid revealing their anxiety because they fear being dismissed or misunderstood by their parents. Others might not feel enough interpersonal trust or confidence to open up with parents. Still others might remain closed because of a stigma attached to mental illness.
Parents are pivotal in helping their student overcome how they might feel about school. When parents encourage open, safe communication, they increase the chance their child will speak, which helps create an important pathway to balance and healing.
In supporting their student, parents can remain alert to their actions and behaviors, as well as what they might say. Anxiety or other troubled emotions can appear in short responses just as they can in fuller statements.
Also important is noting what the student may not be saying. If the child is becoming more quiet, withdrawn or moody, or is changing eat habits, he or she might be nonverbally communicating that something is wrong.
To encourage greater emotional sharing, parents can:
Establish comfort that lowers the guard. Parents might spend time with the student among shared daily activities, such as driving, exercising or listening to music. This can encourage spontaneous conversations. The best questions are often open-ended as opposed to answerable with a "yes/no" (e.g. "How have you been feeling lately?").
Steer clear of blame and dismissals. Some parents might ask what the student may have done to contribute to their distress. Others might wave off concerns by pointing out the student should "toughen up" or that things were the same when they were that age. The child needs to feel heard and supported in their reality now. Trying to offer immediate solutions or judgments can also close what otherwise might be open.
Be collaborative with school personnel. Because of heightened concerns and emotions, it's possible to address teachers and administration with frustration and accusations during a difficult situation such as bullying. This can interfere with positive change. Approach school employees as an invested teammate seeking a helpful solution.
Promote healthy relationships and activities. Inspire the student to seek and maintain constructive, non-toxic social circles that let them be who they are without consistent stressful patterns. Also be aware of what animates him or her, such as sports, art, music, hiking, biking, volunteering or caring for pets. The things that fulfill them can reinforce their true sense of self.
Above all, parents can offer unconditional love and support. Research indicates that students from accepting and affirming families are more confident and resilient. If the child is safe and secure with you, they are already a step ahead in facing the world.
Much of what we might endure when confronting conflict or stress is driven by the responses our brain has programmed. For example, if one student approaches another to intimidate or to threaten harm, the brain of the student being bullied will likely signal that anxiety, fear, shame or humiliation are emotions linked to the moment.
What we might not always identify is that the same feelings are often compelling the bully. Whether aware or not, bullies compensate for their own fear or insecurity by asserting power over others to keep such feelings at bay.
Within this context, the bully and the bullied are mirroring each other's emotions. One side is projecting or transferring emotion concepts. The other is relating to them in a way that acknowledges and validates them.
Psychologists refer to this as "identifying with the aggressor." By mirroring the bully's deeper emotions, we subconsciously forge a path to escape with less damage done.
When we understand that these responding feelings can be choice, we can begin to reconfigure them toward peace and calm instead of anxiety. This then protects us as opposed to threatening us.
Emotion concepts are culturally coded. Starting at a young age, we learn and process the situations and attending emotions around us. Our information sources can be family, school, friends, media and popular culture, to name just a few.
Imagine if at that early age we learned that bullying was embarrassing, weak and uncivilized, and the social responses to a bully were pity, contempt and amusement. Our brains would then be wired to these emotions as reactions to the behavior.
A main thing to note is that anxiety does not happen when we are being bullied. Rather, if someone tries to bully us, our brain runs its programmed emotional code, which is lengthened and strengthened with each bullying experience. By drawing on the past, it is able to predict our response in the present.
In this way, anxiety and other problematic emotions can often be constructs. This is especially relevant when we consider that our brain is aware of power imbalances in our lives. Consequently, it tracks and adjusts us internally to them.
Let's say an overly domineering coach approaches a student athlete. The athlete's brain instantly recognizes the power imbalance. It will then try to keep the athlete composed by managing the inner systems that form a balanced body. The more balanced our brain can keep our body, the less we might show our concern with the power imbalance.
Now let's say the coach starts really leaning into the athlete. Because this is taking place while the brain is already busy managing the imbalance, the athlete's body may likely undergo increasing stress. If the distress becomes recurrent over time, it can lead to health issues beyond the emotional ones.
Understanding this, we can see how redeveloping emotion concepts can serve mental and physical health. In the case of the athlete, he or she can potentially recast the emotions related to intimidation. Through mindful practice and the right words for the emotion concepts, the student can fortify greater calm, composure and self-compassion.
Empowered Life Therapy believes in supporting students with a safe, open, confidential space where they can express and talk through their personal concerns and gain the outlook and skills for life balance. To learn more about our individual therapy for students in Oswego, Aurora, Plainfield and Naperville (IL), simply contact us at (630) 842-6585.
Kasey Huff
